I have always been very confident in who I am. What I want to be. I want to be strong, helpful, amusing. I wanted to be a servant for others. My happyness is always second to me. That is fine. I like to build others up and help them. It made me feel good. Long ago I learned though where to draw the line. I saw at what point I was being walked over, used.
Now once again its come to into question. Who am I? I see so many versions of me and I dont know which to choose. Am I a fighter? Am I in search of something? Am I a sage? I sit and feel content but when others are around I begin to feel as though I've lost something. Missed out on something. I have been a source of strength for many, but in being that I never have really been seen as a person but a crutch. I am open and share my life's story but I dont show the emotions in me.
So am I able to show those emotions? I sit calmly but lately. I feel things and they confuse me. I have loved and lost. I delt with those feelings. Now I am left with simple contentedness. I sit and watch the world. Who does that make me? I live for others but apart from them. I have felt but not any more. I feel as though Im a part of nature and all things in it but I feel as though there is stil a conflict in myself. I dont know what it is or where it comes from. Just every once in a while I feel it...crawling through me. Moving me.
...Im in a Wyrd Place...